In the Thick of It: Real Strategies for Managing Stress When Everything is Happening at Once

Cozy Southern porch decorated for Christmas with rocking chairs, magnolia trees, string lights, sweet tea, and a festive wreath—evoking holiday warmth, mindfulness, and stress relief.

Part 2: IN THE THICK OF IT

Real Strategies for Managing Stress When Everything is Happening at Once

By Meredith Glynn, Serenity & Sweet Tea

Published: [Date]

You're in it now.

The calendar is full. The house is chaotic. Family is arriving. Money is tight. Time is nonexistent. Your nervous system is running on fumes and coffee, and you're pretty sure you haven't slept in three days.

This is Part 2. This is the thick of it.

And honey, I'm not going to tell you it gets easier. But I am going to tell you how to survive it with your sanity intact. Because you can get through this. You just need some real strategies and a whole lot of grace.

When Everything Hits at Once: The Holiday Overwhelm

Let me paint you a picture. Because I know this one intimately.

It's December 15th. You've got a work deadline. Your kid needs a costume for the school play. Your mother-in-law just texted that she's coming for two weeks instead of one. You haven't started Christmas shopping. The house looks like a tornado hit it. Your partner is stressed about money. And you haven't eaten a real meal in four days.

Your nervous system is screaming. Your body is exhausted. Your mind is spinning. And you're still supposed to be cheerful and grateful and full of holiday spirit.

That's not the holidays. That's a crisis.

And yet, this is what we've normalized. We act like this level of chaos is just "how the holidays are." We act like if you're not completely overwhelmed, you're not doing it right.

But here's the truth: you're not supposed to be this stressed. Your body isn't designed to operate in crisis mode for six weeks straight. Your nervous system needs breaks. Your heart needs softness. Your mind needs space to breathe.

So when you're in the thick of it—when everything is happening at once—the first thing you need to know is this:

You're not failing. Your nervous system is just overloaded. And that's fixable.

Managing Family Dynamics Without Losing Your Mind

Family is beautiful. Family is also complicated. And during the holidays, family dynamics get amplified like someone turned up the volume on everything.

Suddenly, you're dealing with:

• Old wounds that never healed

• Unspoken resentments

• Different values and politics

• Grief about people who aren't there

• Pressure to be the peacemaker

• Guilt about boundaries you're setting

And you're supposed to do all of this while also hosting, cooking, and managing everyone's emotions.

No wonder you're overwhelmed.

Here's what I've learned about managing family dynamics during the holidays:

You cannot control other people's behavior. You can only control your response to it.

That's it. That's the whole thing.

When your uncle makes a comment that makes you want to crawl out of your skin, you can't make him not say it. But you can decide how you respond. You can excuse yourself. You can change the subject. You can say, "I'm not discussing that," and walk away.

When your mother criticizes your parenting, you can't make her stop. But you can decide not to defend yourself. You can say, "I appreciate your perspective," and then completely ignore it.

When your sibling brings up old family drama, you can't prevent the conversation. But you can decide not to engage. You can say, "I'm not going down that road," and mean it.

Here's the strategy:

Before family arrives, decide what you will and won't tolerate. What topics are off-limits? What behaviors will you not accept? What's your exit strategy if things get heated?

Then, when it happens—and it will happen—you already have your response ready. You don't have to think about it in the moment. You just execute.

It sounds cold, but it's actually the most loving thing you can do. Because when you have clear boundaries, you can actually be present with the people you love. You're not in defensive mode. You're not managing conflict. You're just... there.

And here's the thing about being the peacemaker:

You don't have to be. You really don't.

I know you've probably been the peacemaker your whole life. The one who smooths things over. The one who makes sure nobody's upset. The one who carries everyone else's emotions.

But that's not your job. That's not your responsibility. And it's absolutely destroying you.

What if instead, you let people feel their feelings? What if you let conflict exist without trying to fix it? What if you gave yourself permission to not be the emotional glue holding everyone together?

The world won't fall apart. I promise.

Financial Boundaries: When Money is Tight

Let's talk about money, because the holidays bring up money stress like nothing else.

You're supposed to buy gifts. You're supposed to host. You're supposed to contribute to family events. You're supposed to travel. You're supposed to do all of this while also paying your regular bills and trying to save for retirement.

And if you can't afford it? Well, that's your problem. You should have planned better. You should have budgeted better. You should have worked harder.

That's the message we get. And it's toxic.

Here's what I know: you don't have to spend money you don't have to prove your love. You just don't.

Your presence is enough. Your time is enough. Your heart is enough.

If you can't afford to buy expensive gifts, buy thoughtful ones. Or make something. Or give your time. Or give nothing at all and just show up.

If you can't afford to travel, don't. Have the conversation now, before the guilt builds up. "I'm not able to travel this year, but I'd love to see you. Can we do a video call instead?"

If you can't afford to host, don't. Suggest a potluck. Suggest going out. Suggest something that doesn't require you to go into debt.

And if someone gets upset about your financial boundaries? That's their problem to solve, not yours.

Here's the strategy:

Sit down right now and figure out what you can actually afford to spend on the holidays. Not what you wish you could spend. Not what you think you should spend. What you can actually afford without going into debt or sacrificing your own needs.

Then, communicate that number to the people who need to know. "My gift budget this year is $50 per person." "I can't afford to travel, but I'd love to celebrate with you another way." "I'm not hosting this year, but I'd love to contribute a dish to a potluck."

Say it clearly. Say it kindly. And then stick to it.

Because financial stress during the holidays is one of the biggest contributors to overwhelm. And you don't have to carry that alone.

Time Management: When There's Never Enough Time

The holidays compress time in a weird way. Suddenly, you've got six weeks to do what normally takes six months. And you're supposed to do it all while also working, parenting, maintaining your home, and taking care of yourself.

It's impossible. So let's stop pretending it's possible.

Here's what I've learned about time management during the holidays:

You cannot do everything. So you have to choose what matters.

That's it. That's the whole thing.

You have to look at everything on your plate and ask: "What actually matters to me? What brings me joy? What am I doing out of obligation?"

And then you have to let go of the obligation stuff.

Maybe you don't send Christmas cards this year. Maybe you don't decorate the whole house. Maybe you don't bake seventeen kinds of cookies. Maybe you don't attend every holiday party.

Maybe you just... don't.

And the world keeps turning. And people still love you. And you're not a failure.

Here's the strategy:

Make a list of everything you think you "should" do during the holidays. Everything. The big stuff and the small stuff.

Then, go through and mark each one:

• "Brings me joy" (keep it)

• "Obligation" (consider dropping it)

• "Doesn't matter" (drop it)

Whatever's left is what you do. Everything else? You let it go.

And here's the permission I'm giving you: it's okay if your holiday looks different this year. It's okay if you do less. It's okay if you simplify. It's okay if you say no.

Daily Practices for Survival Mode with Grace

When you're in the thick of it, you need daily practices that keep you grounded. Not fancy practices. Not time-consuming practices. Just small things that remind your nervous system that you're safe.

Morning Grounding (5 minutes):

Before you get out of bed, before you check your phone, before the day takes over:

Take three deep breaths. Smell fresh biscuits on the inhale. Cool sweet tea on the exhale.

Say one thing you're grateful for. Just one.

Set one intention for the day. Not a to-do list. One intention. "Today, I'm going to be gentle with myself." "Today, I'm going to protect my peace." "Today, I'm going to ask for help."

That's it. You've just told your nervous system that you're in control. That this day is yours.

Midday Reset (2 minutes):

Sometime around noon or 1 PM, when things are getting chaotic:

Step away. Go to the bathroom. Go outside. Go anywhere quiet for two minutes.

Do the breathing exercise again. Smell biscuits. Cool tea.

Remind yourself: "I'm safe. I'm doing okay. I can handle this."

Your nervous system needs these little reminders. They're like tiny resets that keep you from completely falling apart.

Evening Wind-Down (10 minutes):

Before bed, after everyone else is asleep:

Sit somewhere quiet. Make some tea. Journal one thing that went well today and one thing that was hard.

Don't try to fix anything. Don't try to solve anything. Just acknowledge it.

Then, tell yourself: "Tomorrow is a new day. I get to start fresh."

And then you go to bed.

These practices aren't going to make the holidays perfect. But they're going to keep your nervous system from completely dysregulating. They're going to remind you that you're human. They're going to give you little pockets of peace in the chaos.

When Things Go Sideways (And They Will)

Here's the thing about the holidays: something always goes wrong.

The turkey burns. Someone gets sick. A family member says something hurtful. You run out of money. You lose your patience with your kids. You have a meltdown in the grocery store.

It happens. It always happens.

And when it does, here's what you do:

You pause. You breathe. You remind yourself that this is temporary. This moment is not your whole holiday. This mistake doesn't define you. This chaos is not a reflection of your worth.

And then you do one of these things:

• Take a 15-minute break (go for a walk, sit in your car, lock yourself in the bathroom)

• Call a friend and vent

• Cry if you need to

• Do something physical (dance, stretch, shake it out)

• Journal about it

• Give yourself grace

Because here's the truth: you're going to mess up. You're going to lose your patience. You're going to say something you regret. You're going to feel overwhelmed and angry and sad all at once.

And that's okay. That's human. That's what happens when you're in survival mode for six weeks straight.

The goal isn't to be perfect. The goal is to be human. To acknowledge the hard parts. To take care of yourself in the middle of the chaos. To come back to center when you get knocked off balance.

You're Doing Better Than You Think

If you're reading this, it means you're in the thick of it. It means you're overwhelmed. It means you're trying to hold it all together.

And I want you to know: you're doing better than you think you are.

You're showing up. You're managing. You're taking care of people. You're handling crisis after crisis. You're doing the thing.

That's not nothing. That's everything.

So be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. Ask for help when you need it. Take the breaks you need. Set the boundaries you need.

You're going to get through this. And on the other side, there's Part 3: Finding Your Way Home, where you get to process all of this and figure out what comes next.

But for now, just survive. Just get through. Just keep breathing.

Want to Go Deeper?

Listen to this post come to life in Part 2: In the Thick of It of The Porch Light Circle podcast—"Coming Home to Yourself During the Holidays." Streaming now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere you listen.

Grab the Complete Holiday Journal

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Inside, you'll get daily check-in prompts, family dynamics worksheets, financial boundary guides, time management tools, and stress-relief trackers—everything you need to navigate the thick of it with grace.

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Take What You Need

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to do it all. You don't have to carry everyone else's emotions.

You just have to breathe. You just have to survive. You just have to be gentle with yourself.

See you on the other side, sugar. The porch light is always on.

—Meredith 🍵